CHRISTAIN GOTHIC MUSIC 

THE VISION OF PHIL KAYALO

“The evil that men do almost always lives on after them... The good? Well, it is often buried along with their bones.” – William Shakespeare.

If this statement is true then character is indeed a tree and reputation is in fact it's shadow. And, if it is also true that this is the prevalent, established perception in society as a whole, especially amongst Christians, then how much more should the love of Christ be dominant in us as Goths who carry the banner for our Lord Jesus? How much more should the Christ-like attributes of love & forgiveness, gentleness, kindness, meekness, temperance, faithfulness, goodness, joy, peace, patience, and the self-control to bear all things, believe all things, hope for all things, and endure all things be saturating our lives as we submit to the Spirit of God?

Aren't we all supposed to be conforming our will to the will of the Father? Conforming our hearts and minds unto the express image of his dear Son? For we are not our own, we are bought and paid for with a price.

Generally speaking, women who were once not allowed to vote, hold office or even pastor a church, now hold seats in the United States Senate, run for president, evangelize on television, and are some of the most successful business owners and C.E.Os that our country has to offer.

And, what about African-Americans? Myself of course, being one, I have read about, watched, seen, and observed my own race go from the days of slavery to the Emancipation of Proclamation! From sitting on the 'back of the bus' to becoming bus company owners! From dealing with former early banishment in professional sports, to dominating the profession as do most of our current MVP's! From 'trying to make a dollar out of 15 cents,' to rapping one's way out of poverty, becoming entertainment moguls, helping to shape and mold modern mainstream culture.

Now, why did I use these two examples of adversity becoming opportunity? Severity becoming success? Because present location does not determine future destination. Because I wanted to lovingly point out to you all the importance and influence of perception.

First, the importance of perception, because as it is written, “As a man Thinketh, so is he” and, “what we wish for, that we readily believe.” Second the influence of perception. Case in point: “Actions taken now, will reverberate/echo throughout eternity,” Russell Crowe from 'Gladiator.'

Now, what is INFLUENCE?

The Merriam Webster's Dictionary definition defines INFLUENCE as the 'act or power of producing an effect without apparent force or direct authority... To alter, sway or modify the condition or development of SOMETHING in an intangible way.' It is that SOMETHING that I wish to focus on.

PERSPECTIVE!

Perspective is- 'The science of painting and drawing something so that the objects represented have apparent DEPTH & DISTANCE... The aspect in which a subject or its parts are MENTALLY VIEWED! A CERTAIN VIEW of things (such as OBJECTS or EVENTS), in their TRUE relationship or RELATIVE importance.'

From these definitions, we can RIGHTFULLY glean this truth and conclude the following:

That the CURRENT PERSPECTIVE of the Goth in today's world is a FIXED perception, one that has been:

A) Accumulated throughout the years.
B) Perpetuated through ALL forms of Various Media.
C) Preached upon from the pulpits.
D) Gauged upon from opinion polls affecting EVERYONE from the corporate boardroom office worker to the stay at home independent single parent or soccer mom.
E) Gathered from the Goths themselves.

Now, ALL of these perceptions are TIME-HONORED perceptions, and yet ALL of these perceptions, honestly stated, are not necessarily the most FAVORABLE of perceptions.

Why?

As Gothic people, we understandably represent the MINORITY class in this country... Even amongst 'perceived' minorities.

On American MTV, for example, since its inception in 1981 the ROLE of the Goth has been a MINIMAL ONE. It has been one REDUCED over the years, falling prey to the constant, growing, metamorphosis of mundane, redundant, reality T.V. shows, and the sad, current state of the Mainstream hip-hop nation, (which has unfortunately, taken over MOST of the entertainment airwaves).

Pop music hasn't helped the situation either. We've gone from 'The Sisters of Mercy' on EARLY MTV, to sisters' in skimpy clothes, singing to syrupy, bubble-gum flavored, regurgitated musical formulas, all without depth, perception or message—promoting instead the BLING-BLING lifestyle, earthly possessions, and other various forms of vanity.

Through the use of their financial prowess and over-inflated budgets, major record labels have systematically ripped-off and robbed MANY of the visual, audio, and artistic visions/sounds that once were a STAPLE in the underground sub-cultures, thereby corrupting the ORIGINAL intention of the art form itself. While the TRUE underground, independent, Gothic artist themselves CONTINUE to struggle to make ends meet, never get TRUE promotional dollars behind them to effectively promote THEIR vision, and as a result, a MAJORITY of them unfortunately, wind-up broke, penniless, and depressed.

Yet, NEVER wishing to 'COMPROMISE' their creativity or appearance, many of them would RATHER starve and be homeless, then to shed their individuality just to be 'accepted' by society, the church or the corporate American landscape and workplace.

Now, although Goths are SOMETIMES depicted as artistic, gifted, intellectual, poetic, thoughtful, and introspective human beings or as club owners, independent record label owners or punk-rock store owners in film or on TV, the common perception is that they ARE, WE ARE, labeled as Columbine killers, sexual deviants, bi-sexual blood drinkers, paganistic, Wiccan vampires, and Satan worshippers—marching to the cadence of Marilyn Manson!

Let us NOT be afraid to call a spade a spade. Neither let us be AFRAID of this admittance. But NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH! We are all here today! Thus the PRE-DETERMINED WILL of program directors, TV station owners, record label executives, marketing specialists or exit polls CANNOT and WILL NOT EVER influence me, define me or my faith—or WHO or WHAT I am! Should never EVER define us, our faith or who or what WE are!!

Although I, for one, am TRULY tired of being compared to 'hedonistic heathens,' tired of the biased attitudes based upon fear and built upon the foundations of ILL PRE-CONCIEVED notions, tired of the stops and stares that come from the negative assumptions of the masses, tired of the CONTINUOUS attempts to CONSTANTLY RE-DEFINE MYSELF to 'fit-in,' and tired of being 're-defined' in the common mind of the average layman and the church itself as a whole... I do realize that I must DEFINE these things for what they TRULY are.

In the Word of God, it CLEARLY states, “For if you INDEED live by the flesh, you shall die. But if you BY THE SPIRIT do indeed MORTIFY the deeds of the flesh, you shall live.”

Why?

“For to be CARNALLY MINDED IS DEATH. But to be SPIRITUALLY MINDED is life and peace.”

Why?

“Because the MIND set on the flesh is HOSTILE/ENMITY towards God. For it IS not, DOES not, and CANNOT subject itself to the law of God, for it is not EVEN ABLE TO DO SO!”

And so, knowing this, I therefore ask myself, “Has my own personal sphere of influence been lacking? The Lord knoweth my heart, and despite my own noble, honorable, and sincere intentions to better Gothdom as a whole in the EYES of mankind, have I been attempting to do in the FLESH—in the Natural—that which can ONLY be accomplished IN the Spirit, BY the Spirit, and THRU the Spirit?? Have I FAILED in my OWN personal attempts to effectively ALTER, SWAY or MODIFY the deeply imbedded dispositions of others? Just to change their perceptions? Has the DEPTH of my character and the DISTANCE of my reputation been applied to men WITH the apparent force and direct authority of my God-given, strong personality alone? In a nutshell, has mankind seen Christ IN me? Or have they seen ME instead?”

It has been said that, “Private bravery is often the price of personal victory.” This is NEVER an EASY thing to do, because it almost always connotes hard choices, tough decision making, and EXTENSIVE, INTENSIVE personal inventory of oneself.

To the Goth, EVERYTHING has beauty, but not everyone sees it.

Yea, indeed, everything does have beauty... But not everyone clearly recognizes it OR perceives it. Beauty does not force itself on anyone! It shoves itself down the throat of none. It does not philosophize or analyze its defense of existence, validation, and importance, NOR can it ever be EXTINGUISHED! IT IS SIMPLY ETERNAL AND PERVASIVE!

And so, to EXPERIENCE personal victory, (in this case defined by the changed perception of Goth in the minds' of men, and the ROLE of the Goth in today's world), the 'private bravery' of DAILY acquiescence unto the Lord, MUST become the INWARD INSTITUTION of the INNER man!

We must HONOR our cause by HUMBLING ourselves. We must FIGHT forward, by “doing the inner moonwalk” backwards. The way UP is the way DOWN, upon our knees. The 'Beauty of the Spirit' MUST be seen in me, in us.

John the Baptist said it best when he testified, “He must increase, and I must decrease.” We must go lower, dig deeper, press harder, and yield further!

Those Goths who love Jesus MUST say, “It is Christ IN me, The hope of Glory!” Hope is the feeling you have that the CURRENT feeling you possess isn't permanent! It is subject to change. And yes, as a Christian, those things that are in the natural, NO MATTER WHAT THEY ARE, are indeed subject to change with the right type of Godly confession of the Word. For hope is a risk that must be run! Then the world and our own secular Gothic community will see and take notice! THEN the current perceptions and mental images of us as Goths WILL INDEED CHANGE! For the weapons of our WARFARE are INDEED NOT carnal, but they are MIGHTY THRU GOD to the PULLING DOWN OF STRONGHOLDS, CASTING DOWN IMAGINATIONS/(MENTAL IMAGES), and EVERY HIGH THING THAT ACKNOWLEDGES ITSELF AGAINST THE KNOWLEDGE OF GOD, BRINGING INTO CAPTIVITY, EVERY THOUGHT TO THE OBEDIENCE OF CHRIST! And for every injustice ever done to us, for all of the social mores that seem to have been systematically designed to HINDER, STUNT THE GROWTH AND COMPLICATE the lifestyle of the independent Gothic artist—we must THRU CHRIST forgive.

For all of the years that the moth and the cankerworm have eaten, the Lord promises in His Word, that He WILL restore IT! For those of us who have wanted to serve Christ within the walls of the church throughout the years, and have instead faced the prohibitions put upon us, the walls of separation and divide, the misunderstandings, the prejudices leveled against us, the righteous anger that has been sown into our hearts, the justifiable anger of the creative that has reverberated against the doors of heaven itself, driving SOME of us to turn from Christ and/or Christendom altogether, to seek out a career in the secular world, WE MUST LAY DOWN OUR RIGHTEOUS COMPLAINT AT THE FEET OF JESUS CHRIST HIMSELF!

And we must also seek forgiveness from the Father and from those with whom we’ve had suspicions of. WE must allow the Lord to work in our OWN hearts to melt the barriers of mistrust and disbelief that have built the chasm of this—our GREAT DIVIDE!

This goes NOT ONLY for the secular suit and tie, but ALSO for the SUITS and TIES that PERMEATE most of our modern churches. If we CHOOSE to do these things, leaving our defense in the HANDS of the ALMIGHTY, then it will be God alone who becomes our defense.

God alone who will repair the breech existing in the church today, and God alone who will cause ALL things to work out TOGETHER for our good. But it must be US who initiate this. NOT the mainstream. NOR the mainstream church.

Why?

Because ONLY WE have the wisdom to not only understand ourselves... But we can also understand them.

The MAJORITY of the mainstream church does not possess this ability.

We must therefore USE this as an OPPORTUNITY and be ABLE to have the mentality and the heart to say, “Yea Lord, in spite of all that we have INDIVIDUALLY AND CORPORATELY experienced, we choose to LOVE thru you, to UNDERSTAND only thru you, to YIELD thru you, and to SUBMIT thru you. THEN we will watch as the LORD over time perfects that which concerns us. We as Godly Goths will be the first to TRULY perfect the art of 'PERMISSION WITHIN... AND PROMOTION WITHOUT.'

'PERMISSION WITHIN... PROMOTION WITHOUT'
The dreams of the Goth, like the dreams of ALL men;
They come from the Lord, planted deep from within
To use creativity, impacting society;
Thru birth, art or song, 'tis the offspring of piety.

The challenge for Goth, is that we're the minority;
But with God on our side, WE become the majority
Ask Gideon, or Sampson, who completed their route;
Thru permission within... and promotion without.

We live in a world where technology rules;
Where 'chance' seldom given, 'till one pays their dues
Where corporate compromise, now dictates the spread;
Where if you are Goth, how tough to get ahead!

They change your attire, attempt to change your image;
And once you've conformed, they then say, “We're not finished...”
And so you obey, why? ’Cause THEY'VE got the clout;
Your permission within... THEIR promotion without.

You then go to church, where you become the ANOMOLY;
The infection systemic, spreading thru their geography
They SAY they love Christ, but you FEEL like a leper;
You reach out to them; the indifference is measured.

And so you go home, wondering just where you'll fit;
Falling off the radar, so much EASIER to quit
Frustration, depression... Is there a way out?
Yes—permission within... and promotion without.

Sometimes Godly insight, is hidden from man;
Sometimes they CANNOT or WILL NOT understand;
Sometimes they will NOT support Godly vision;
The mental image of a future outcome.

Sometimes they WON'T SEE that Godly Fashion line;
That media giant, or illusionists' mime;
Yea, THAT be the crime causing MANY to doubt;
So permission within... and promotion without.

Must be the FAITH walk that we settle inside;
To PUSH THRU THE PROCESS, where provision lies
My vision for Goth? It's a vision most grand;
So much BIGGER than us... Greater than who I am.

To be LOVED in the church, and yes, to love them back;
Utilized in the BODY, without personal attacks
To use SIGHT AND SOUND in this last generation;
INDUSTRIAL MUSIC, broadcast to the Nations'
The METAL of Goth, a deployed Godly tool;
Permeating the 'CHRISTIAN' airwaves as a rule
And 'Matrix' effects, teaching simple truths;
Of spiritual warfare, to the OLD and the YOUTH;
Hearing Godly Gothic worship Sunday morning;
Instead of the SAME SOUNDS that have grown STALE and BORING
To have my OWN video channel and stream;
The BEST of the underground, rivaling MTV!
To bind up the wounds of the hurt, broken hearted;
Providing shelter for the emotionally martyred
Financing coming from the mainstream and those
Who once WERE OUR ENEMIES, and yea, EVEN FOES!
This here IS THE VISION, on the launching pad;
Let us now CLAIM OUR TERRITORY, with ALL that we have!
Signs and wonders will follow... Isn't that what it's about?
Give Him PERMISSION WITHIN... Gain PROMOTION WITHOUT!!!

~END~

Copyright 2004. By Phillp Levi Kayalo- (A.K.A. the 'Watchman'). All rights